Kammys Musing

Blog In Colour

  • Of Balding and Bolding

    I looked at a photo from 2017 – it captured me from behind, holding my infant in a food court. There was a visible thinning spot right at the middle back. Not too bad, but visible.

    7 years forward and it has progressively moved forward, or should i say backwards😂

    The funny thing is, as I combed my hair and looked at myself in the morning, I dont feel bad. I’m not concerned. It’s only when people around you starts mentioning it that I start to be conscious. Most of the times I just shrugged it of while making fun of myself. But there were instances; like when I told my daughter not to talk about it anymore because she keeps mentioning about it repetitively.

    So what can I do? I wonder how many millions others thought about it. It must be harder for a women, unless you are wearing a headscarf or covering like the Muslims.

    I was in a shopping centre in Kuala Lumpur mid Dec 23, when an elderly Chinese lady came up to me with a brochure for a hair reviving treatment. I’m not sure whether I should be thankful, or give her a punch for the insult. (Of course its an insult; you wouldn’t call it a compliment, would you?😂)

    My upbringing taught me to choose the former.

    So what’s next? I believe you could either choose the physical way or the spiritual way.

    PHYSICAL – you could choose what the lady offered me; spend a few thousand dollars on medication, hair growing technology etc.
    Or just go bald. Go Toretto/The Rock!

    SPIRITUAL – choose to be content with what you are given. Choose to be with people who treat you as a human being, not based on how many hairs left standing.

    I have tried this Fish Oil and Hair Nail Skin pills – doesn’t work.
    I have tried Olive Oil – doesn’t work.
    Currently I am trying Coconut Oil. If it still doesn’t work, at least I get to enjoy the nice smell in the morning

    Eventually if its in the genes, there’s not much you could do.

    Until then – stay hungry, stay safe.

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  • Screen before Paper

    I finished the TV series ‘Fallout” last Sunday.
    Based on the video games of the same title – I have seen the name countless times on EB Games shelf but have never played it.

    Based 200 years after a nuclear war which made most of Earth inhospitable, the surviving ones are separated into several factions – each with their own idea on how to save the world but none could co-operate with the other. Typical human nature.

    I usually break down the TV series/movies I am watching online into smaller, digestible session. Sometimes as low as 10mins and then I switch to another channel. Talk about short attention span.

    I somehow managed to finish this series, sometimes 2 straight episodes. Maybe I just want to get done with it. Maybe I am just curios of the character development; on how one relate or interact with another.

    No, I am not here to give a TV review.

    One thing I realised now is that I prefer watching a TV series/movie adaptation without reading the book first. This way, I will not have any expectation.

    Having said that; it would render me unable to enjoy a good book. So its pretty much a catch-22 situation at times.

    This past year I was privileged to enjoy a couple of enjoyable book series, namely the Thursday Murder Club and Fourth Wing (the second book, Iron Flame – not so much). Last I heard, both are in the works to be made into a movie by Netflix (TMC) and Amazon TV series (FW).

    What could I do now? Just wish for the best, I guess.

    Until then, stay hungry, stay safe.

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  • And the World stays still

    I was reading an article about the deliberate, fatal Israel attack on a convoy of volunteers.

    You can read it here https://amp.abc.net.au/article/103666184

    It got my hair standing, thinking how brutal it was. The last moments when the volunteers realised there is no way of escaping their imminent death. Thinking just how moments later, with the arranged trip and logo on the vehicle, it would grant them a safe passage to assist the vulnerable.

    “He said after the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) attacked the first armoured car, the team was able to escape and move to a second car which was then attacked, forcing them to move to the third car.”

    This doesn’t sound right, but this would definitely make a very good, albeit tragic movie ending.

    This is not the first time volunteers were killed by IDF, nor would it be the last.

    The double standards by the Western countries are just overwhelming – imagine if this was done by an Arab country; they wouldn’t wait for an explanation before they start invading the country.

    Update : 25 July 2024
    I was looking through my draft and found this which I started back in April.

    Nothing much has changed unfortunately.

    I picked up a copy of The Australian today and was harshly reminded on why it boils my blood to read the articles in the mainstream media – Israel is still portrayed as the victim, not the perpetrator.

    7th Oct 2024 is still used as the starting point of clash; when it should have been decades ago (at least 1948) when millions of Palestinians were displaced from their ancestral home.

    If you are a sympathiser, just wait for your turn to be smeared. “Anti-semitism” seems to be a convenient and popular option. With close to 40 thousand Palestinian deaths, I don’t know what is more “Anti-semite”.

    SEMITE – “a member of any of the peoples who speak or spoke a Semitic language, including in particular the Jews and Arabs.”

    Be on the right side of history.

    Until then, stay hungry, stay safe.

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  • Trial and error in Ramadhan

    Second day of Ramadhan here, when Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset (currently between 5am-640pm; no food or drink).

    I had been feeling lethargic for the past 2 nights – Taraweeh (night prayer) was a struggle for me to keep awake.

    Last night I suspect my iron level depleting, so I popped an iron tablet and head to bed super early @ 930pm.

    And then today I felt…great. That and also having an instant coffee for iftar (a 3in1 coffee satchel) hoping it may boost my energy.

    Oh boy – boost it did!

    I managed a quick 15min in the gym, followed by 10mins moving in the steam room and a short 50m lap in the pool.

    Came back and did my Taraweeh. Alhamdulillah, more energised than the previous two nights.

    Only thing is – it’s 130am and I am still wide awake.👀

    Hello there!

    Maybe I should take half a satchel next time and see how my body reacts.

    One thing is for sure – tomorrow is going to be a long day at the office.🥱

    Stay hungry, stay safe.

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  • Jahara Ketot

    Tulisan ini adalah buat tatapan rakan taulan, saudara mara, ahli keluarga yang jauh mahupun dekat.
    Ini berkaitan dengan keadaan kesihatan emak kami, Jahara bt Ketot.

    *Untuk update terkini boleh scroll terus ke bawah.

    Oktober 2023
    Mak kata terkadang batuk berlarutan, macam tak lepas2. Kalau di awal pagi, ada sedikit darah dalam kahak.

    November 2023
    Warded di Hospital Besar Melaka untuk dibuat biopsi.

    Disember 2023
    Result tiba; mak disahkan ada adenocarcinoma.
    Kanser paru2 tahap 4.
    Orang tak merokok, tapi kena kanser disebabkan second hand smoker (orang keliling yang merokok). Rakan pakar kanser kata, kes sebegini banyak di sebelah Asia Tenggara.

    Rawatan dicadangkan – pengambilan pil kanser (Afatinib) setiap hari untuk menghentikan penyebaran sel kanser. Tidak perlu kemoterapi.
    Kesan sampingan – hilang selera makan, muntah2/cirit birit, hilang berat badan.

    Januari 2024
    Mak mula ambil pil. Kesan seperti dijangka. Pernah sekali dikejarkan ke Hospital Melaka, duduk hampir seminggu. Doktor cadangkan ambil pil selang sehari.

    Februari 2024
    8/2/24 sempat melawat mak, memang banyak hilang berat badan. Dalam berbual tu mak kata berat tinggal 38kg.
    Kebanyakan masa, mak tidur di rumah Busu (adik mak) bila tiada ahli keluarga lain di rumah kami.

    16 -18/2/24
    Planned trip balik Melaka. Masih yang sama keadaannya. Hari2 tak makan ubat, seleranya sedikit naik. Tapi kebanyakannya minum air sahaja.

    21/2/24
    Rutin checkup di IKN Putrajaya (Institut Kanser Negara). Seminggu lepas ada buat ujian darah; keputusan tak berapa cantik. Mak ditahan untuk tinggal di wad IKN.

    Abang Aa kena balik Melaka ambil barang2 sebab tak jangka kena stay wad.
    Dapat bilik single, tapi dia request nak duduk wad yang ada ramai orang. Mak tak suka duduk tempat senyap:D

    21 Feb – Mak dan Abg Aa agaknya tengah bincang barang nak dibawa dari Melaka.
    24 Feb – Pak Samad, besan dari Hulu Langat datang melawat.

    22/2/24
    Selamat Hari Lahir ke 80!

    26/2/24 Isnin
    Mak masih di IKN. Setiap hari ada yang melawat.
    Sejak duduk di IKN, nampak mak selera betul makan. Sepupu2 ni memang kaki makan; semalam siap makan rojak.
    Abang saya, Azhar masih gagah berulang alik kerja di Batu Pahat. Cuti sekolah – kakak ipar banyak temankan di hospital.
    Ada cucu angkat mak yang bekerja nurse di IKN, dia pun kerap menjenguk.

    28 Feb 2024 (1230pm)
    Doktor nak tambah darah mak, tapi sebelum tu kena masuk ubat dulu.
    Dah 2 jam, ubat masih dripping. Sakit juga kata mak.
    Sejak masuk IKN, mak dah resume makan ubat lain (kencing manis, darah tinggi etc) tapi belum mula makan pil kanser.

    29 Feb 2024 Masuk magnesium. Setakat pembacaan saya yang tak belajar Medic ni, ia untuk kesihatan jantung mak.

    2 Mac 2024 Sabtu Sempat call, berbual dengan mak. Suara sedikit lemah, baru bangun tidur agaknya. Tapi Abg kata ada demam sikit.

    2 Mac Sabtu. Adik beradik perempuan datang melawat. Kanan Busu, Kiri Mokteh, Depan MakLang.
    4 Mac 2024. Adik lelaki mak (Pak Itam dan Mak Itam) datang menjenguk.

    7 Mac 2024 Khamis
    Mak dah discaj dari IKN. Abang Aa datang dari Batu Pahat pickup.
    Aku dah lost track berapa kali dia ulang alik BP-Putrajaya dalam 2 minggu ni.
    Tup-tup dia hadir – macam DragonBall ada Hikmat Pergerakan Sejenak.

    Dah beberapa hari berbual dengan mak, nampak stabil dan sihat.
    Kekadang aku berseloroh “Pipi mak dah labuh ni!” 😀
    Nak kata dia nampak berisi sikit dari last jumpa tengah Feb.

    Sekarang dalam perjalanan balik Melaka.

    7 Mac 24. 325pm. Seremban. On way ke Melaka.

    16 April 2024 Selasa
    Minggu lepas Hari Raya Aidilfitri (10 April 2024).
    Hari ini aku pertama kali bawa mak sendiri ke IKN Putrajaya untuk check-up. Biasanya Abang A-a yang akan berkejar dari Batu Pahat. Harapnya dapat dia rehat.

    Dah standby baju, kalau2 kena tahan wad. Memang betul lah, kena tahan wad sebab result hati (liver) tak cantik. Ada jaundice/kuning. “Makcik, cuba tengok atas” kata doktor. Barulah aku perasan bola mata mak kekuningan.

    Masuk Wad 7 (dulunya Wad 9). Bilik makeshift je ni, sebab ada bench dan komputer kat tepi dinding, ada doktor 2 orang sibuk buat report. Kat hujung bilik tu ada satu katil tambahan. Aku ok je, tapi mak dah risau macam2. Paling stress buat dia sebab kena jalan ke bilik sebelah kalau nak ke toilet.

    Aku dah risau. Hari ni Selasa, esok Rabu malam flight balik Perth. Abang Aa Khamis baru boleh datang. Ni karang duduk sorang, lagi stress mak aku ni. Dah lah blood pressure dia 180.

    Cek online, ada tiket harga waras kalau aku pospon ke Jumaat. Cek dengan bos, dia ok untuk aku extend cuti. Cek dengan Shakira, reply biasa dia “Takkan saya kata tak boleh pulak?” #isterikirimansyurga

    Makanya dapatlah pospon balik. Alhamdulillah, abang pun tak terkejar2 nak kena datang. Mak pun ada orang boleh temankan berbual. Komplen pulak tu makanan tak cukup pedas, so setiap tengahari aku belikan sambal belacan kat kafe bawah, buat penyedap. (Nota – masa mak masuk wad bulan Feb, banyak ulser dalam mulut, tu yang takleh makan pedas. Ni dah sihat, eksen pulak mintak benda pedas.

    18 April 2024 Khamis
    Petang Abg Aa tiba dari Batu Pahat. Kebetulan Pengarah IKN pun melawat kawasan – dimaklumkan rawatan lepas ni ialah radioterapi, sebab mak dah cuba 2 jenis pil anti-kanser, kurang sesuai. Side effect teruk sangat (muntah, cirit birit, hilang selera makan etc).

    Aiskrim KitKat si Ima ni belikan mak aku. Aku tengok part coklat tengah tu dia takleh gigit 😀

    19 April 2024 Jumaat

    Sepupu datang melawat.

    Lepas solat Jumaat, checkout. Mak & abang dropoff aku kat KLIA.

    23 April 2024 Selasa
    Pagi – IKN call, minta datang hari ni pukul 3pm. Kelakar seram juga – abang gagahkan dari BP, ke Melaka, ke Putrajaya. Yelah, ada slot kosong untuk rawatan, kita pun kenalah usaha.

    2 Mei 2024 Khamis
    Rawatan radioterapi kena buat 10 kali. Setiap hari tidak termasuk hujung minggu. Semalam cuti Hari Buruh; Isnin-Selasa pun takde rawatan sebab maintenance machine.
    Hari ini hari ke 5 rawatan. Aku tanya mak minggu lepas, ada rasa tak selesa ke, dia kata takde. Ok je. InsyaAllah moga rawatan berhasil.

    TERKINI 9 Mei 2024 Khamis
    Kalau ikutkan, hari ini hari terakhir rawatan radioterapi. Mak ada demam sedikit weekend lepas, sekarang dah ok.
    Kelmarin dikesan ada jangkitan kuman dalam darah.

    Malam tadi berbual, mak sekarang dalam kuarantin, duduk bilik seorang. Ada masuk drip antibiotik.
    Pelawat dicadangkan pakai mask dan cuci tangan sebelum dan selepas; dikhuatiri menjangkiti orang lain.

    Setakat April 24, saya dapat balik melawat mak tiga kali, moga2 dapat balik lebih kerap. Kebanyakan masa, urusan mak banyak dibantu ahli keluarga, saudara mara, jiran2. Ini semua nikmat Tuhan.

    Syukur adik beradik mak ramai; rumah mak dan dua adik perempuannya bersebelahan di Melaka, mudah dapat bantuan.

    Mohon doa2 dan ingatan semua agar emak saya kuat untuk melawan sakit dan tidak merebak.
    Moga Tuhan lindungi orang2 yang berusaha menjaga kebajikan kami.

  • The convoluted mind

    How hard is it to set up a website? It depends on the person, I guess. “Build Your Website in 20 minutes” Youtube video does not work as I would like it to be.

    Yesterday I tried to rearrange the page, change to a different theme..only leads to me feeling nauseous and burping non stop.

    I reckon the stress of computer programming during my university years is still there; just lying dormant, waiting to be unleashed as soon as it detects I’m trying to do anything related to the computer software.

    Come to think of it, it is easier to set up something from scratch, compared to trying to make adjustments.

    At this point I realised two things :

    1 – this is the excuse of why my webpage looks like a 7 year old Mona Lisa drawing (the childs drawing is way better, I guarantee!)

    2 – I am better off sticking to what I aim to do in the first place. To write, clear my mind, get the brain cells moving, the neurons connected.

    And hopefully someday, the neurons are well intertwined to produce webpage I am proud of.

    Until then, stay hungry, stay safe.

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  • Book Review : Fourth Wing (Rebecca Yarros)

    I struggled reading the first 10 pages, but in a good way.

    There was so much going on in the paragraphs that sometimes re-reading the same line 3 times was necessary to ensure I understood what the hell was going on.

    After a couple of chapters, I had this urge to watch The Hunger Games. Don’t ask me why. And watched it, I did.

    I usually read a chapter before bedtime to wind down. Besides Angels and Demons (Dan Brown), this is the second book that I fought my sleepy eyes to stay awake, just so I could continue reading.

    Synopsis (No Spoilers ahead, dont worry)
    The fictional world is based on 1 mainland continent which has two empires – Navarre which has dragons and Poromiel which has gryphons.

    The journey of a 20 year old girl, Violet Sorrengail who was forced by her mother, the general, to enter the military Academy as a dragon rider. Against her wishes and also he late dad (a scribe).

    There were plot twist here and there. I love the Threshing part (when the dragons choose their rider) and the last page where she unexpectedly meets someone, which would paved the way to the next book.

    At times, the reading satisfaction comes in waves. Like walking in a freezing day in the jungle when you stumble on a shelter.
    BAM!

    You enter the shelter and lit up the woodfire.
    BAM!

    You sit in front of the fireplace while enjoying a mug of hot chocolate.
    BAM!

    Combined, there are roughly two chapters which I would call “read in your privacy” due to the steamy, explicit sex details. I am not familiar with medieval fantasy fiction books, so maybe I should be expecting something similar in my future reads.

    This one would definitely get a 4.9/5 star from me.

    Until then, stay hungry, stay safe.

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  • Looking from the sideline

    Is there a term for people-watching?

    Not ogling I know, but just sitting down at the sidewalk, watching people from different backgrounds passing by you as they go through their day. Sometimes in a leisurely mode; other times just scurrying with a tense facial expression.

    I had the privilege to accompany a friend to the Western Australia District Court in November 2023 and there was a plethora of things to see.

    Police officers in blue, breezing through the scanner, probably testifying against a crackhead, or maybe against an idiot too drunk to notice the red lights.

    I saw a well dressed Indian man with his mother. Mother’s boy? The mother went through the body scanner with her hands up, like she was at a gunpoint. Are they here to fight for inheritance? Who knows.

    People with different tattoos on their body – legs, arms, necks, ears. Was it painful when they got it? Did a family tragedy prompted them to get it, or a rite of passage to join the elite.

    Friendly security lady onsite – the only person besides the lawyers who’s smiling, chatting in a friendly manner. Maybe its the only way to keep sane in the fast pace environment. Dealing with people is never an easy job.

    Lawyers passing by with their custom suit, fancy suitcase, occasionally a cup of coffee in hand, usually a smile in their face. Might they be thinking about the zeros in their bank account?

    No high profile case that day, else there’ll be news cameraman (with so many gadgets, I wonder if they hit the gym) and good looking journalists reporting (how do they keep up the make-up sweat free?)

    Maybe I’ll be lucky next time.

    Until then, stay hungry, stay safe.

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  • Book Review : Storyteller (Dave Grohl)

    Finished this book on the first day of 2024. Woohoo!

    If you have been following Dave Grohl career for a while, this book is his view on some of the background happenings. His childhood – how he got into music, his passion, learning the instruments. His influences in music and how it was meeting them in real life. (You realise that your “hero”, also has other hero/es and they would have the same reaction when meeting their heroes, elevated heart rate, dry mouth etc. Just like normal people)

    Your so-called heroes are human after all – unless they are Homelander. Which in this case would make the term “Never meet your heroes” so true.

    There are stories about the bands he has played in (Scream, Nirvana). Oh, there’s definitely things about Kurt.

    Dave tells about the privilege of sharing his passion with his kids. The joy of meeting and collaborating with other musicians, as well as performing at big stages as well as small stages ( but with super VIPs).

    What I think I look like in the mirror; lush thick hair. Dream away!

    If you don’t know who Dave is, fret not. The book is simple to digest. It is not written in order (year by year), but instead on memories, intertwined with other memories, here and there.

    Dave (to me) is someone who has a profound love of music, went deep in understanding, enjoying, playing it; and when the opportunity presented itself, decided to grab it. He just let life plays it course.

    Would anyone has the chance to do so? Only a very few out of 8 billion people, definitely. He didn’t enter music because he wanted to be rich (like the majority of us when we start a business); it just came along and allowed him the freedom to do other things freely.

    At times, reading this feels like a friend sharing some stories around a campfire. I never felt like he was gloating when he talks about some of his wealth (buying a house or farmland).

    At this age, I don’t think I would enjoy their lifestyle – jet-setting around the globe for months to end, performing, city after city.

    I rate this autobiography at 7.5/10.

    Until then, stay hungry, stay safe.

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  • Holiday checklist – are you on it?

    I arrived in Perth on Wednesday morning after spending 18 days in Malaysia.
    6 days accompanying my son on his bowling tournament, 7 days in Melaka, 5 days in KL. Plus minus.

    Since the border reopened in 2022, one thing I found productive in managing my trips (ensuring I don’t come back feeling I wasted my time traveling) was to have a checklist.

    Sounds a bit too organized, innit? You are on holiday; just take it easy, chill. Just go with the flow.

    My friend, that was my style before. After a few years in the travel industry, I picked up a few valuable lessons along the way.

    Why checklist?
    Makes it easier to plan my trip. Mine usually looks like this :

    Things to do – places to visit, attraction to see.
    Things to eat – more Halal places in Malaysia makes me spoilt for choices. I’d narrow it down; there’s only so much one could eat.
    People to meet – family, relatives, high school friends.
    *Kids activities – this one is quite new. I feel that to avoid my kids from getting bored, it’s important to get them off the gadgets and embrace the local activities available.

    Even with this list, there are days that we only did one or two simple activities (watching movie, eating outside) and spent the day just resting doing nothing much. This is important, especially if you have kids.

    During my trip I would go through my list, crossing out the completed ones, making adjustments as necessary. Those not achieved would then be in the list for my next trip 😀

    Until then, stay hungry, stay safe.

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