Kammys Musing

1989. 7am.

I was walking between my aunt’s houses in Melaka; a misty and chilly morning. Started to have this mixed feelings; a bit of sadness – melancholy might be the word.

Feels like crying even though there’s no reason to, so no tears came out.

Feels like I am missing something, or longing for someone’s touch, but I don’t know what or who.

This weird emotion would lasts for a few days and eventually go away, usually when the weather changes.

I recalled feeling it when I was in Kuala Kangsar during my teenage years at a boarding school. It was such a welcomed feeling because I was homesick and it reminded me of home.

All my life I have only experienced it a handful of times, both in Malaysia and Perth. It is happening now – as this is published I am on my 7th day.

Pretty sure someone else would have had this unexplained emotions, but just couldn’t explain or meet someone who has similar experience.

I can’t predict when it will happen but when it does, it is something I cherish. Like meeting an old secret lover who turns up at your front door unannounced. You are happy that they are there, but for some reasons you can’t tell or share with others about it.

That – may be the worst way to explain it.

Just like when I discovered the word “petrichor” a few years back, who knows I might actually find it in my lifetime.

Unti then- stay hungry, stay safe.